the one in which i vent...

Okay, be prepared, this post may not be the prettiest of my posts. I have had so much on my mind this last week, that I figured I had to write it out to 1) vent my frustrations and 2) show ways that the Lord is providing for us continually. Reason 2 is obviously the better reason! lol

Last Friday, I finally got to see my surgeon for a followup. She had been on vacation. She is a wonderful, amazing doctor with an amazing bedside manner. In the midst of our conversation, she mentioned something about doubling my medicine. I thought, "I wonder what medicine she is talking about?" At the end of the appt., I asked about it. She said that she had ordered my thyroid medicine to be doubled after surgery because I had no thyroid left. That would make a lot of sense. Unfortunately, no one at the hospital communicated that to me when I was discharged. I just taking the same dose as before surgery, assuming I'd talk with the internal medicine doc soon. That sure explained my tired, run down state. So that was providence number 1. Seeing my surgeon cleared a whole lot up. I feel very at ease talking with her and asking any kind of questions. She cared about how I was doing overall, not just about my incision site. Because my calcium levels had crashed after surgery, and I was taking bucket loads of calcium pills to get them back to normal, she wanted to have my calcium level checked again. Off to the lab I go.

Providence #2: As I'm getting my lab drawn, the tech notices what I'm getting tested for and tells me that the other gal working in the lab had her thyroid out just 4 weeks ago and her calcium levels crashed as well. Only no one noticed it till she went home and she had to be rushed to the ER and almost intubated. This all happened right before my surgery. Before this gal's incident, the hospital hadn't had a patient with calcium levels crash. So, when I came along, the nursing staff and doctors were aware of what to ask for (ie: tingling in hands and lips). This wonderful gal and I got to chat about our parallel experiences and what we are going to expect in the next couple of months. Her and I have the same diagnosis - papillary thyroid cancer. How crazy is this???

As you can see, because of this gal's experience with calcium, I was spared a life-threatening situation and had my calcium levels adjusted quickly. I was given calcium by I.V. and when I went home I was to take 2000mg 3x a day.

What else is so amazing is that we got to talk about the 2nd part of our treatment. Hers is scheduled to start soon, so I was able to have a better idea of the timeline of my treatment. Here's what I'm gearing up to do soon:

1. Go completely off my thyroid medication
2. Go in hypothryoid state (tired, sluggish, cold, weight gain, etc.)
3. Once I'm in hypo state, I start a Low-Iodine Diet.
4. Stay on the diet for 2 weeks to deplete my body of iodine.
5. Pack up the kids and send them off and go to the hospital.
6. Receive Radioactive Iodine by pill, and possibly stay overnight.
7. Come home and basically live in quarantine for about a week, hopefully less.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it!!:)
Yea, so all this "stuff" that I know I'm going to be doing was weighing heavy on my heart yesterday. I was becoming overwhelmed and frustrated. I was asking the Lord, "Why this time of year? Don't you know it's going to be corn season??" Mind you, yesterday was just 3 weeks post-op, and I'm still getting tired easily. I kept thinking, I'm already so tired, and can barely hold things together, how am gonna take care of the kids when I'm hypo state?

Well, I know worrying does no good. I know that I shouldn't look past today, today already has enough troubles of its own. One side of my brain kept reminding me that the Lord has a plan for this, He knew it was going to happen now and happen now for a reason. Even if it doesn't make sense to me. He knows exactly when I should be taken off my meds and He'll give that wisdom to my doctor. He'll give me the strength to get through the hypo state, and He'll bring people around to support us. I know He will.

I don't know why we were given this situation to experience, but I do know that I have already seen the hand of God working so mightly in it. Some days are not easy, and it's easy to get caught up in the unanswered questions. We covet your prayers for us during this time. Please pray that obviously, we would have the physical strength to take care of our children. Please pray that this time would not put undue stress on our marriage; that we would come closer through this. Please pray that I may be a light to others I come in contact who might not know the Lord. I can't imagine going through this without Him. Please pray that I would have patience when I'm exhausted and my sweet precious babies are asking for more energy out of me.

In the car today, I heard the Josh Groban song, "You Raise Me Up". The words hit straight home.

"You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas. I am strong when I am on your shoulders, You raise me up, to more than I can be."

The Lord indeed raises us up, scoops us up into His arms, and holds on tight, never letting us go. Such a beautiful picture!